If I think about how far I have come in the past few years I start to get chocked up. I don't deserve any of the things that I have been given. There is so much that I would like to do with my life. Will I get married? What about kids? How will teaching go? Will I be able to manage my money? I worry about all things. I want to say something heroic like "I am gonna just trust God". Truth is I should but it is so hard. I pray that Jesus is real and that I could trust that He is.

First Post

Blogs. What the crap is a blog? I don't know if anybody will ever read this, but writing I have heard is great therapy. I will write even if I am the only one who will ever see it. I have been having a rough time lately. I have learned over the past week a few things about myself. I am David McKenney, son of Ernie and Harriett. I have a younger brother named Michael. Weight has always been a struggle for me. Many times I feel fat. I get depressed very easily and I have trouble with anxiety. I take a couple of medications for it. Music is a passion for me. I taught myself how to play the drums and guitar. I also love martial arts and wish I could live in Japan and study Budo like freakin' Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai. I have ADHD really bad so forgive me if my ramblings do just that. I am in school so I can be a PE teacher and wear those tight Bike shorts with my socks pulled up while wearing a collared shirt and a mesh baseball cap....with a whistle. I live with my parents to save money. I was ashamed of this until today. I am now happy I think to live at home because I once did not know my parents very well and now it is though I am meeting them all over again. I have loved three girls in my lifetime and all their names start with an L. Weird huh. The first girl I ever dated also had her name starting with L...I did not love her though. One day I hope to be married. Until then I hope to be content. As I was riding the bike at the gym today I realized something. I need more than anything for Jesus to be real and be the person He said He was. I try very hard to believe the Gospel. I am a weak person though I pretend to be strong. It is okay I think because Jesus said He came for the sick. I am sick. I need a Saviour. Other than that, well, this is it for now. My new favorite quote is this: "It is not about the results. It is about the effort to complete the task". If only I would believe this.

Ramblings of a Begger

Would You open up my eyes,
And show me the light,
Take me away, from this place,
Would You open up my eyes and show me the light,
'Cause I cannot make it alone,
I need, I need You,
I need, yes, I need You,
To free me